He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..