did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... π―πππ
Do I even want to know?
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
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