things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
