Texts From Last Night

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  (810): View more from Michigan

  If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?

  (989): View more from Michigan

  I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own

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  (810): If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore? (989): I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own http://tfl.nu/vduq
  Replies (24) Good night (2618) Bad night (718)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?

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  (978): so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call? http://tfl.nu/91ao
  Replies (29) Good night (749) Bad night (7586)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.

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  (970): Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese. http://tfl.nu/mdbn
  Replies (10) Good night (7255) Bad night (1001)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.

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  (724): You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame. http://tfl.nu/zyq0
  Replies (14) Good night (1974) Bad night (3027)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.

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  (302): I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays. http://tfl.nu/ol44
  Replies (7) Good night (2982) Bad night (1317)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.

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  (724): Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex. http://tfl.nu/opu2
  Replies (11) Good night (4037) Bad night (868)
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.

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  (774): Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America. http://tfl.nu/x41k
  Replies (3) Good night (2206) Bad night (614)
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  (269): View more from Michigan

  I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.

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  (269): I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away. http://tfl.nu/ufa3
  Replies (10) Good night (5076) Bad night (862)
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  (760): View more from California

  She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.

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  (760): She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks. http://tfl.nu/z0r2
  Replies (22) Good night (772) Bad night (3274)
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  (575): View more from New Mexico

  I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.

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  (575): I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend. http://tfl.nu/kkwb
  Replies (3) Good night (730) Bad night (1452)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.

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  (484): I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game. http://tfl.nu/ixaa
  Replies (8) Good night (1475) Bad night (562)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex

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  (403): Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex http://tfl.nu/ohy9
  Replies (13) Good night (2136) Bad night (672)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.

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  (765): His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison. http://tfl.nu/cqq3
  Replies (4) Good night (811) Bad night (632)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything

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  (519): You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything http://tfl.nu/69w4
  Replies (0) Good night (514) Bad night (249)
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  (530): View more from California

  He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby

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  (530): He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby http://tfl.nu/gwam
  Replies (4) Good night (282) Bad night (521)

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