i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Is her dick bigger than yours?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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