I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
home. puking in laundry basket.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
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I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
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I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize