is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
My cat gives me a boner
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
