My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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