it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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