you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
