Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
