I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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