My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
