i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
