Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
