I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Can I color on your dick again?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
