3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
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