I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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