she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
