she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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