party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
