One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
