And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
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