last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Someone shit on the floor
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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