I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
