yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Vodka?
Forever.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Randomize
