Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Randomize
