Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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