i permit you to call me
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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