It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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