wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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