he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
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