So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
