it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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