Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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