O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Randomize
