Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I have fence marks all over my body
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
