the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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