Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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