ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
