I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Slut skills are useful in every country.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
