are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Randomize
