i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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