We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
