Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
