My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
My penis needs a shock collar
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Randomize
