Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Randomize