he puts the penis in happiness.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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