I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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