I puked a lego.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
