So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Alive.
So much puke
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
