Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
