He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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