why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
