Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
