like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
