so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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