you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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