Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
