He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
You're earring is so big in my mouth
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
