what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
whose ass print is on the piano?
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
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