As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Randomize