Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
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Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
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Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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