my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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