I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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