R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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