i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
