I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
