Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
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